Celebrating my sons birth on this side of Heaven
Michael was so excited that he got his first job. He just turned 15 and wanted to save for a 1977 Monte Carlo. Michael was buried on what would have been his first day of work. Tragically my son passed away in an accident. A parents worst nightmare.
It's now nearly 24 years since that day in 1994. From being catapulted into hell for so many damn years, to being the happiest I have ever been. I never thought I would survive it. Really. I would pray for a terrible disease to take me fast. It didn't happen. I thank God for that!
My husband and I flew to CT for Michael’s 39th birthday recently. I hadn't been to the cemetery for his birthday in 17 years. Moving to FL was the right thing for me. Winters depressed me. I couldn't keep driving by where Michael took his last breath. Packed up the kids and the cat. This year I really felt the need to be there for his birthday. I know he isn't there, but I just wanted to tend to his area. He is buried in a quaint cemetery with small hills. It's really beautiful. I found peace there. I got upset when we couldn't find his grave right away. When I lived in CT I could find it even after dark. There could be three inches of snow and I would walk right to his resting place. Sadly there are so many more buried in his area now.
I look down and see a small stone with my son's date of birth and date of leaving this life. My heart was blowing up in pain...after 24 years. We never stop crying or grieving, we just learn to live with it. His birthday! He made me a Mom! He was the first person I truly loved in this world. I miss him so much!
We sent balloons and cards to Heaven to celebrate his day of birth. I’ve been doing this since he passed away. Not just his birthday, but sometimes just because. It gives me peace to release a balloon and card to him. I write him a note, and release it to Heaven. I watch it until I can’t see it anymore. For a few moments I am at complete peace.
I am so thankful that Michael chose me to be his mom. I’m so thankful for 15 years, one month and 16 days together. I’m so thankful he taught me true love.
Until we meet again…